Ok to start this off I'm bored hence the post. Stuck in the lab waiting for my prof to come - supposed to have a meeting so cant do anything either. Just waiting and waiting...
People complain that others are shallow, see only surface level etc...I have said that too no question about it; but now all of sudden I think is it possible to be too deep? I mean its a good thing to see beyond the surface of things and analyse get to the root of the issue and so on but when you do that with everything doesn't that make you cynical of everything and no enjoyment is left? Take a book or a movie for example - one can watch it and be highly entertained by it - it may or may not have a deeper meaning - but do we always have to look for that deeper meaning/message moral of story so to speak. I guess in a way thats how we were brought up - fables and stuff how ever amusing or adventurous would have a meaning and in case you missed it there at the end would be " moral of story is....". Obviously that would be insane to put that in movies and novels but must it be there - couldn't it just be a piece of work for pure enjoyment sake? Maybe the way I think has to do with my general disposition - no one has ever accused me of being shallow but I would admit to my self that I'm not an overly "deep" person. I guess im a half half person in almost everything I do - a sitter on the fence so to speak. But being that I sometimes don't see sarcasm and the like cause I don't look for it or think it would be there. When I tend to look at things at face value I guess I miss a lot of intended conversation - but then I sometimes see others find meanings or sarcasm where they are not present at all - if you look hard enough you will find it even if its your own interpretation.
On that note - my friends say I am easily contended - maybe its true to an extent or is it that I appear so. I have a feeling that the later is the case as I want this and that and do this and that and a lot of thins never accomplished and I do have regrets. So what does contentment mean exactly is it waht you feel or what others perceive - is it that even if you want los of things if you can be happy with what you have - thats contentment?
Sometimes in the heat of argument or discussion I feel like saying something but don't ...or think aout it and think about it till it becomes irrelevant so I dont say it anyway. Then I go have a pretend conversation of what I should have said. Ha talking to oneself - is it a sign of going cookoo - hey it cant be all that different from writing journals or blogging - kind of the same thing isnt it. So what I think is if all these people are keeping journals a) the world is filled with cookoo people or talking to oneself is perfectly fine - so says the mad one.
I see pretense everywhere, everyone pretends to some extent I guess its the severity that worries me. We all present different faces to different people - families realy close friends, aquaintences, professional associates. Its the fault of society to some extent that if we were the same to everyone one or the other group would be so shocked. (Try shaking hands and waiting to be asked to sit and all polite careful talk with you close friends and see how wierd that would be). Well when I mean pretense is when a person tries oh so hard to put a face that goes so against what everything else about him is saying. You can see the excitement when a person wants to say run around and play the fool or something but maybe is taught to prim and proper so doesn't do it or does so when no one else is looking - hmm, is that because its demanded of by society? Proper behaviour withing reason is fine but beyond just makes it a bit ridiculous. But then again reason is what each of decide for ourselves I guess.
Ha think enough rambling for one day!
Friday, January 07, 2005
Monday, January 03, 2005
A different 31st night
A week or so before we had made plans of what to do on 31st night, but well what a difference it was. Even here in Singapore which could be said as relatively untouched the major fireworks and countdowns were cancelled or very scaled down. By around 10pm when we were getting back from the embassy we were so tired that most of us just considered going to bed...but decided to stay up till midnight at least. Just sat and talked and suddenly realized it was 12, wished each other in the most anticlimactic of ways. Then around 2 we get calls from Sri Lanka and were told that not a single cracker had sounded. Very different from the normal days indeed.
On a similar note, it has been very heart warming to see people help out. Even though I have heard of reports of aid being hijacked and looting and false alarms etc...I want to beleive that overall people have become good for the time being. Even over here we see locals who come to drop off stuff then end up helping to load the containers till night - there were even realy old folk who I was feeling extreamely scared about them carrying stuff. On 31st, since it was a holiday there was a large turn out of people to help. There were even little kids lugging around boxes that were twice as big as them!!. One lady mentioned to my friend that she had dropped off all her kids at different points to help. Makes one feel guilty for having such a cushy life!
On a similar note, it has been very heart warming to see people help out. Even though I have heard of reports of aid being hijacked and looting and false alarms etc...I want to beleive that overall people have become good for the time being. Even over here we see locals who come to drop off stuff then end up helping to load the containers till night - there were even realy old folk who I was feeling extreamely scared about them carrying stuff. On 31st, since it was a holiday there was a large turn out of people to help. There were even little kids lugging around boxes that were twice as big as them!!. One lady mentioned to my friend that she had dropped off all her kids at different points to help. Makes one feel guilty for having such a cushy life!
Monday, December 27, 2004
Tsunami
This has been a sad day in this region. I was sitting here in a country sheltered and hence saved by the land masses of Indonesia and Malaysia, but being totally worried about those back home. Having my parents living by the sea was of no comfort even though they were in Colombo and was totally frustrated at not being able to get through. Finally got the message passed through by a friend in Sri Lanka and only then was I able to breathe easy.
Even though my family is safe my heart goes out to all those who are suffering through this. The figures im getting here are horrific and for a small nation having such high amounts of devastation is going to be very difficult to overcome. Even after all this is over, there will be so many problems to overcome like getting clean water and shelter and things like that and starting to rebuild. Thankfully I hear that aid is on its way from a lot of countries including India which under the circumstances that its also been affected is great.
Well finally I hope that all these predictions of aftershocks will not produce further tsunamis.
Even though my family is safe my heart goes out to all those who are suffering through this. The figures im getting here are horrific and for a small nation having such high amounts of devastation is going to be very difficult to overcome. Even after all this is over, there will be so many problems to overcome like getting clean water and shelter and things like that and starting to rebuild. Thankfully I hear that aid is on its way from a lot of countries including India which under the circumstances that its also been affected is great.
Well finally I hope that all these predictions of aftershocks will not produce further tsunamis.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Making a difference :)
Well...decide to put up this post cause one my closest friends was reading another blog where she was mentioned as someone who had made a difference in that persons life and said "If you have a blog you put my name". Haha ok well I will say "You have made a difference in mine"... wont mention names cause I dont believe in it but she knows who she is. Oh ya PS not just mentioning this cause she asked me to I truly mean what I said - I guess the most important factor is that she's opened my eyes to a lot of things and taught me a lot of things ;).
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Its a rat race
Ya ok this is not the first time ive heard of life being a rat race but I'm seeing it affect kids and thats when it beomes scary. Two things brought this feeling about.
First one; Some of my class mates gave this presentation about the education system here and you know what, kids at primary 3,4 are required to take exams that put them into different streams - whats this based on maths english and mother toungue. And here itself the differentiation begins ... based on these streaming execersises they go into different streams in Secondary school (Olevels) - and if you are stuck in a "lower ability stream" then you get to sit for the normal olevels with which you can only go to polytechnics or vocational institutes!! Only those in the express/special streams go on to Alevels and university. Hmm interesting so your life is decided in class 4!!!. Seriously how many of us can say we knew what were going to do in university at that age...or even did our academics then reflect what we are today? What option does a kid in this system have, just study study study! We see a lot of kids doing the next years work one year ahead in the holidays just to keep up - when did we ever care about that.
Second incident; The lab where im doing my project suddenly had some younger people... so I decided to satisfy my curiosity - turns out they are 1st year ALevel people who have come to do projects in their decmber holidays. I go WHAT! Ok granted its an interesting thing to do and they are lucky to have the oportunity. But think about some of the knowledge required for even the simplest understanding is difficult to get even at fourth year uni level and I am trying to explain the concepts of the project that has "big words" to a student who hasn't got polarization yet - so looks like he has to spend his holidays learning things that are taught at university level at the least. (Ya I was given the task of explaining some stuff to one of them who was to be doing something similar to me.) Asked him how exactly he came to be doing this and he says he wanted to (im thinking is he normal!- ok he'll go far:))
First one; Some of my class mates gave this presentation about the education system here and you know what, kids at primary 3,4 are required to take exams that put them into different streams - whats this based on maths english and mother toungue. And here itself the differentiation begins ... based on these streaming execersises they go into different streams in Secondary school (Olevels) - and if you are stuck in a "lower ability stream" then you get to sit for the normal olevels with which you can only go to polytechnics or vocational institutes!! Only those in the express/special streams go on to Alevels and university. Hmm interesting so your life is decided in class 4!!!. Seriously how many of us can say we knew what were going to do in university at that age...or even did our academics then reflect what we are today? What option does a kid in this system have, just study study study! We see a lot of kids doing the next years work one year ahead in the holidays just to keep up - when did we ever care about that.
Second incident; The lab where im doing my project suddenly had some younger people... so I decided to satisfy my curiosity - turns out they are 1st year ALevel people who have come to do projects in their decmber holidays. I go WHAT! Ok granted its an interesting thing to do and they are lucky to have the oportunity. But think about some of the knowledge required for even the simplest understanding is difficult to get even at fourth year uni level and I am trying to explain the concepts of the project that has "big words" to a student who hasn't got polarization yet - so looks like he has to spend his holidays learning things that are taught at university level at the least. (Ya I was given the task of explaining some stuff to one of them who was to be doing something similar to me.) Asked him how exactly he came to be doing this and he says he wanted to (im thinking is he normal!- ok he'll go far:))
Monday, September 20, 2004
A Most Depressing Movie
Recently went to see the film Osama. I won't bother to give an outline of the story here as it can be found on the site, Im just going to put down my impressions/interpretations of the film.
It turned out to be the most depressing movie i have seen - at least to my recollection. Though im saying its a good movie in terms of art/cinematography etc, the story and potrayal of events left a very saddening impression. The movie's potrayal of despair and helplessness was very overwhelming. It was like nothing could be done, whatever path the main character took she would end up with some horrible fate.
One particular point where she is discovered to be a girl and all the other children (boys) turn on her to help arrest her showed that the innocence of the childhood in these boys had been replaced by so much hatred - its like the hatred for her as a girl overcame their thoughts of her as a child and one of them in that sense. If these children could be so cruel then one can imagine the extent of thegrown men. Through-out the movie where the girl is in desparation she imagines/or is seen skipping rope something I guess she longed to do had all the cares had been removed from her. Another point that struck me was there didn't seem to be much options available to the women - though at some points in the movie I was longing for her to kill the man and run away, it just wasn't practical for her to do that because all the other wives would come into the situation that forced her to diguise herself in the first place. Another part which disgusted me were the potrayal of atrocious acts commited in the name of God. It seemed like a justification.
Though I know of events potrayed in the film being based on past/present reality it was still very disturbing. Those who are ignorant of these realities would probably be extreamly shocked. I have read critics who say that maybe it is propagandaish or using the film to twist the minds of people towards something, that is one opinion but mine is that it will serve as a good eye opener to some people.
It turned out to be the most depressing movie i have seen - at least to my recollection. Though im saying its a good movie in terms of art/cinematography etc, the story and potrayal of events left a very saddening impression. The movie's potrayal of despair and helplessness was very overwhelming. It was like nothing could be done, whatever path the main character took she would end up with some horrible fate.
One particular point where she is discovered to be a girl and all the other children (boys) turn on her to help arrest her showed that the innocence of the childhood in these boys had been replaced by so much hatred - its like the hatred for her as a girl overcame their thoughts of her as a child and one of them in that sense. If these children could be so cruel then one can imagine the extent of thegrown men. Through-out the movie where the girl is in desparation she imagines/or is seen skipping rope something I guess she longed to do had all the cares had been removed from her. Another point that struck me was there didn't seem to be much options available to the women - though at some points in the movie I was longing for her to kill the man and run away, it just wasn't practical for her to do that because all the other wives would come into the situation that forced her to diguise herself in the first place. Another part which disgusted me were the potrayal of atrocious acts commited in the name of God. It seemed like a justification.
Though I know of events potrayed in the film being based on past/present reality it was still very disturbing. Those who are ignorant of these realities would probably be extreamly shocked. I have read critics who say that maybe it is propagandaish or using the film to twist the minds of people towards something, that is one opinion but mine is that it will serve as a good eye opener to some people.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Girls eat salad!!??
We had an excercise in class today where a group of guys were asked the question "If you woke up tomorrow morning and found out you were a girl what changes would you have in you behaviour?". The girls were asked the opposite, while another group of guys was told to become forty two year olds.
Of course the guys that became girls saw some obvious things like change of dressing and things you would do in your free time or with your friends but the most outlandish one was we would eat salad!! - now where did that come from? Other changes that were argued were the type of music listened to (which some people said were more subjective than a genealization) - again the guys made a funny generalization in saying that we listened to boy-bands - unfortunately for them the two boy-bands they quoted none of the girls knew about!!
The bunch who were 42 year olds made the next set of bloopers - saying that the religion would be different because those who are free thinkers would probabaly adopt a religion because they were closer to death; females of that age wouldn't wear high heels because it is "dangerous" (causing the lecturer to examine her shoes); capping it all off by saying that they would probaly be living in an old age home - at which point the lecturer asks where they are refering to forty-two or 82 year olds!
One thing we realized were that although these stereotypes were made funny in class they have serious implications because we would tend to carry them along when dealing with others thus causing potential conflict situations.
Of course the guys that became girls saw some obvious things like change of dressing and things you would do in your free time or with your friends but the most outlandish one was we would eat salad!! - now where did that come from? Other changes that were argued were the type of music listened to (which some people said were more subjective than a genealization) - again the guys made a funny generalization in saying that we listened to boy-bands - unfortunately for them the two boy-bands they quoted none of the girls knew about!!
The bunch who were 42 year olds made the next set of bloopers - saying that the religion would be different because those who are free thinkers would probabaly adopt a religion because they were closer to death; females of that age wouldn't wear high heels because it is "dangerous" (causing the lecturer to examine her shoes); capping it all off by saying that they would probaly be living in an old age home - at which point the lecturer asks where they are refering to forty-two or 82 year olds!
One thing we realized were that although these stereotypes were made funny in class they have serious implications because we would tend to carry them along when dealing with others thus causing potential conflict situations.
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