Ramble Ramble Ramble...

Ok to start this off I'm bored hence the post. Stuck in the lab waiting for my prof to come - supposed to have a meeting so cant do anything either. Just waiting and waiting...
People complain that others are shallow, see only surface level etc...I have said that too no question about it; but now all of sudden I think is it possible to be too deep? I mean its a good thing to see beyond the surface of things and analyse get to the root of the issue and so on but when you do that with everything doesn't that make you cynical of everything and no enjoyment is left? Take a book or a movie for example - one can watch it and be highly entertained by it - it may or may not have a deeper meaning - but do we always have to look for that deeper meaning/message moral of story so to speak. I guess in a way thats how we were brought up - fables and stuff how ever amusing or adventurous would have a meaning and in case you missed it there at the end would be " moral of story is....". Obviously that would be insane to put that in movies and novels but must it be there - couldn't it just be a piece of work for pure enjoyment sake? Maybe the way I think has to do with my general disposition - no one has ever accused me of being shallow but I would admit to my self that I'm not an overly "deep" person. I guess im a half half person in almost everything I do - a sitter on the fence so to speak. But being that I sometimes don't see sarcasm and the like cause I don't look for it or think it would be there. When I tend to look at things at face value I guess I miss a lot of intended conversation - but then I sometimes see others find meanings or sarcasm where they are not present at all - if you look hard enough you will find it even if its your own interpretation.
On that note - my friends say I am easily contended - maybe its true to an extent or is it that I appear so. I have a feeling that the later is the case as I want this and that and do this and that and a lot of thins never accomplished and I do have regrets. So what does contentment mean exactly is it waht you feel or what others perceive - is it that even if you want los of things if you can be happy with what you have - thats contentment?
Sometimes in the heat of argument or discussion I feel like saying something but don't ...or think aout it and think about it till it becomes irrelevant so I dont say it anyway. Then I go have a pretend conversation of what I should have said. Ha talking to oneself - is it a sign of going cookoo - hey it cant be all that different from writing journals or blogging - kind of the same thing isnt it. So what I think is if all these people are keeping journals a) the world is filled with cookoo people or talking to oneself is perfectly fine - so says the mad one.
I see pretense everywhere, everyone pretends to some extent I guess its the severity that worries me. We all present different faces to different people - families realy close friends, aquaintences, professional associates. Its the fault of society to some extent that if we were the same to everyone one or the other group would be so shocked. (Try shaking hands and waiting to be asked to sit and all polite careful talk with you close friends and see how wierd that would be). Well when I mean pretense is when a person tries oh so hard to put a face that goes so against what everything else about him is saying. You can see the excitement when a person wants to say run around and play the fool or something but maybe is taught to prim and proper so doesn't do it or does so when no one else is looking - hmm, is that because its demanded of by society? Proper behaviour withing reason is fine but beyond just makes it a bit ridiculous. But then again reason is what each of decide for ourselves I guess.
Ha think enough rambling for one day!

A different 31st night

A week or so before we had made plans of what to do on 31st night, but well what a difference it was. Even here in Singapore which could be said as relatively untouched the major fireworks and countdowns were cancelled or very scaled down. By around 10pm when we were getting back from the embassy we were so tired that most of us just considered going to bed...but decided to stay up till midnight at least. Just sat and talked and suddenly realized it was 12, wished each other in the most anticlimactic of ways. Then around 2 we get calls from Sri Lanka and were told that not a single cracker had sounded. Very different from the normal days indeed.
On a similar note, it has been very heart warming to see people help out. Even though I have heard of reports of aid being hijacked and looting and false alarms etc...I want to beleive that overall people have become good for the time being. Even over here we see locals who come to drop off stuff then end up helping to load the containers till night - there were even realy old folk who I was feeling extreamely scared about them carrying stuff. On 31st, since it was a holiday there was a large turn out of people to help. There were even little kids lugging around boxes that were twice as big as them!!. One lady mentioned to my friend that she had dropped off all her kids at different points to help. Makes one feel guilty for having such a cushy life!